Parfum des BWL

World Braces for New Line of Cologne
But many fear that the world is not yet ready. An unnamed BWL spokesperson made a rowdy, viral announcement today via zeppelin banners circulating the world's coolest cities. The banner read like this: "Parfum des BWL : Where no Louis is impossible..." Indeed the new line of scents boasts an unusual egalitarian approach by the ultra exclusive BWLs. Financial analysts attribute the new inclusive campaign to be an unfortunate result of the financial crisis which has affected even the upper echelon of BWLs.

Pictured here is one of many new giant-sized advertisements that have hit the street. "Louis," embodied here by a flat-top clad WASP, will be the most widely made available Parfum and is meant for the hungry, faceless masses. A long and bloody battle was fought between BWL lawyers and Jim Davis in order to use "Garfield at the BBQ" as an association with Parfum des BWL. In the end, the BWLs struck a deal and Garfield is already planning on endorsing future BWL products in the 4th quarter of 2011.

What Is The Secret To BWL Ingenuity?

Lots of rumours are flying around the inter-web-nets about what the composition of each hand-crafted Parfum des BWL consists of. Some of them pretty outrageous! So far the BWLs are pretty re-cock-ulously secretive about their list of ingredients. One unified speculation is that the BWLs have perfected a transfusion process by which the famed trio of "blood, sweat, and tears" are synthesized into the Parfum. Others claim that BBQ sauce, Dr. Pepper, Lone Star Beer and shooters are the chief agents. One thing is clear, some select Parfum des BWL double up as emergency shooters. This has been officially confirmed by the BWLs. No one knows how it will work but the BWLs have promised that with Parfum des BWL you can outsmell the Louis and kick back on a cool times shooter all in one product. The prospect is outrageous and simultaneously thrilling. Can you imagine applying a great smelling cologne and then taking a shot at the same time??? It would be a first.

 














 








Essence of a BWL Revealed

One thing that will come of this new line is a certain exposure to BWL culture that sometimes gets lost in translation or is just concealed. It will be hard for some Louis to understand why a BWL is passionate about slider hamburgers. But then again, the BWLs are first and foremost trend setters. But in order to offset the bandwagon effect, BWLs often pull crass stunts to ward off too many Louis from riding the cool times wave.

The Final Word On Scent?

BWLs have chimed in on a market that nobody could have predicted. Much like Apple's move to the mobile market with the iPhone, Parfum des BWL represents a paradigm shift in the world of manufactured smells. Thousands will gather this Friday at Cocktails and Dreams for the official kick-off party but only a few will get in. Bowtie Louis will be the Master of Ceremonies. The festivities will revolve around a record-spinning dance floor with 360 competitions and shooters galore. See you there?